Super Weird! Read online

  Table of Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  Copyright

  CHAPTER 1

  You already know that me and my family are a bit weird!

  But guess what? Our new puppy FiDo is WEIRD, too!

  FiDo’s a sausage dog. He has super short legs and a super loooooooong body.

  He can’t jump very high, but he can wriggle under almost anything!

  He keeps wriggling into weird places and finding things we haven’t seen in

  aaaaaaaaaaaages!

  Like Sally’s socks …

  And Dad’s gadgets …

  Roger’s dummy …

  And Granddad’s teeth!

  FiDo’s really brave. He’s not scared of anything.

  He’s like a SUPER sausage dog.

  IS IT A DOG? IS IT A SAUSAGE?

  NO, IT’S SUPER SAUSAGE DOG!

  Faster than a speeding bullfrog!

  More powerful than a crazy chicken!

  Able to get under anything in a single crawl!

  In fact, both of our pets are really brave. Blockhead isn’t scared of anything, either. He’s like the bravest parrot in town!

  He’s so brave, they should name a bravery award after him.

  Oh, I forgot …

  Blockhead IS scared of one thing.

  Just one thing.

  But that’s nothing, really.

  Blockhead and FiDo have become best friends.

  They sing together.

  They sleep together.

  They practise barking together.

  They even watch funny TV shows together.

  Their favourite TV show is called ‘Funniest Pets’. People send in videos of their pets doing funny things!

  Blockhead and FiDo do heaps of funny things, too. They like to get around together like this

  It’s so funny watching them ride around like that!

  FiDo’s not very fast, ’cos of his little legs.

  But that’s kind of why I like him even more!

  I’m short and can’t run very fast, either!

  CHAPTER 2

  I guess everyone has something they are good at (even me!). And my dad is reeeeeally good at SMELLING things.

  It’s like he’s a superhero, and smelling things is his super power!

  NOSEMAN to the rescue!

  It would be great if he could

  use his power to fight crime!

  If you talk to Dad for a bit, he can tell what you ate for breakfast!

  (I told you Blockhead was weird!)

  He can even tell what FiDo’s eaten!

  Dad says it’s because he has

  a GREAT nose.

  He’s SO good at smelling things that he can smell smoke from a loooooooooong way away.

  He’s always ready to leap into action as soon as he smells smoke in the air. He’s had a few false alarms, but he always says it’s

  better to be

  safe than sorry …

  Like, there was this one time when we were

  bushwalking

  with

  Granddad …

  Then there was that other time when we were at the retirement village

  visiting

  Great

  Aunty Flo …

  But when there really is an emergency, Dad and his great nose will make for one

  AWESOME firefighter!

  That’s right, my dad’s training to become

  a FIREFIGHTER!

  I’ve been going to training with him on the weekends. Just to watch. I think it would be a very cool job.

  Maybe when I grow up and get a bit bigger, I can join him!

  We would make the best firefighting team!

  But to become a firefighter, you have to reach a certain height. When they measured Dad,

  he just made it!

  Lucky for Dad, he woke up that morning with really bad bed hair. His EXTRA BIG hair got him just over the line.

  Bed hair is really just another way of saying

  My whole family sometimes wakes up with really funny bed hair.

  But the WORST of all is Roger!

  I often wish I was taller … ’cos being short can be pretty annoying.

  Last year, our family went to the Easter Show

  and I was too short to go on the

  big roller-coaster.

  They let kids heaps younger than me on the ride, just because they were taller.

  How could they let a giant baby on and not me? I think the rule should be:

  IF YOU’RE WEARING A NAPPY,

  STICK TO THE KIDDY RIDES!

  Believe me, NO-ONE on a roller-coaster wants to sit next to someone who’s able to

  go to

  the toilet

  in their own pants.

  And sometimes at the supermarket,

  I can’t reach my favourite chips!

  They’re always on the top shelf!

  Maybe I should JOIN THE CIRCUS and learn to walk on stilts.

  But I don’t know if they’d allow that at the supermarket.

  But the biggest problem with being short is that it makes it hard to play lots of sports.

  Like

  basketball …

  I wish there was a game called SHORTBALL. It’d be just like basketball, but the ring would be close to the ground.

  All the BIG GUYS would trip over themselves trying to shoot baskets and the

  LITTLE GUYS

  would be the CHAMPS!

  Who am I kidding?

  Life is

  pretty tough

  for small guys!

  CHAPTER 3

  Today, it’s PET DAY at school! We all get to bring in our pets to show everyone.

  It’s funny how so many people

  look like their pets.

  But then there are others that look

  nothing alike.

  Like Henry …

  Then there’s Bella …

  I thought Bella would have something like a fluffy cat …

  or a long-eared bunny …

  or maybe a little poodle …

  Man,

  was I wrong!

  Tiny is as big as a horse!

  A really,

  really

  BIG horse!

  ‘Um, hi Tiny,’ I said, walking up to him.

  I’d never felt so small!

  ‘He’s friendly,’ said Bella.

  ‘Big, but friendly. Tiny,’ she

  said to the dog, ‘say hello to

  my friend, WeirDo.’

  His bark nearly blew me over!

  Bella smiled at me and I blushed.

  ‘He likes you,’ said Bella. ‘I knew he would.’

  Then Tiny licked me!

  I was knocked off my feet and landed with a

  Bella helped me up.

  I showed Bella my pets.

  ‘You must be FiDo,’ said Bella, ‘and you must be Blockhead.’

  She picked up FiDo and gave him a cuddle.

  Blockhead jumped onto her finger

  and wriggled.

  Meanwhile, Mr McDool was rounding up everyone and their pets for the

  PET PARADE.

  Everyone lined up with their pets and,

  one-by-one, we started making our way

  around the playground.

  First, Tiny galloped along with Bella and

  everyone gasped.

  Next, there was Wendy and her rabbit hopping backwards,

  a handstanding pig

  and a stunned goldfish.
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br />   Sally had given me her old toy pony’s saddle to put on FiDo and a cowboy hat to put on Blockhead.

  When they ran out with me—

  Blockhead riding on

  the back of FiDo—

  everyone laughed like

  And then to top it all off,

  Blockhead barked!

  The crowd went wild!

  After we’d run one lap,

  the crowd asked for MORE!

  So we ran around again!

  Henry laughed so much that his popper juice

  shot out

  his nose!

  ‘Quick,’ said Granddad. ‘Film them, Weir!’

  I turned on the camera just in time!

  CHAPTER 4

  Everyone in our family loves hanging out with our pets.

  Blockhead and Dad sometimes

  dance together.

  Roger and FiDo love crawling under things together.

  Blockhead, Mum and Sally sometimes have sing-a-longs.

  And I really love taking FiDo for walks.

  We like walking to the park near our house and playing a game where we COPY each other.

  When FiDo rolls over, I roll over.

  When FiDo pokes his tongue out, I poke my tongue out.

  When FiDo lies back and sticks his legs in the air, I lie back and stick my legs in the air.

  Just then, I heard a voice…

  It was Bella!

  Bella was playing frisbee with Tiny and asked if we wanted to join in.

  Of course we did!

  It was SO MUCH FUN!

  We threw the frisbee

  all around

  the park!

  But then I threw the frisbee way too high and it flew into a tree.

  ‘Oops, sorry, Bella,’ I said. ‘You wait here. I’ll climb up and get it.’

  So I climbed until I couldn’t climb any further and I reached as high as I could!

  But I just

  couldn’t

  reach it!

  If only I was a little bit I would have been able to get the frisbee back for Bella.

  ‘That’s okay, Weir,’ said Bella. ‘I’ll go get my Dad and he’ll be able to reach it.’

  I was sooo embarrassed.

  That night at dinner, I was telling Mum and Dad how I wished I was taller.

  ‘That’s alright,’ said Dad, ‘you’re still growing.’ ‘Yeah, but I’ll never be really tall,’ I said. ‘If I was taller, I’d be great at basketball.’

  ‘You might not be great at basketball, Weir, but you’re really great at other things,’ said Mum. ‘Like … drawing!’

  It was true, I could draw.

  ‘Yeah,’ said Granddad. ‘And you’re really good at filming things, too.’

  ‘That video you took of Blockhead and FiDo on Pet Day is really cool,’ said Sally. ‘Who knows, Weir, maybe one day you’ll end up being a famous movie director!

  How cool would it be if they were watching their favourite TV show together … and then saw themselves on it!?

  So Granddad and Sally helped me send in the video.

  We could hardly wait for the next episode of

  FiDo and Blockhead were SOOO excited to watch it, and they had NO IDEA that we’d sent their video to the show!

  ‘Do you think they’ll show the video of FiDo and Blockhead?’ I asked Dad.

  ‘Let’s watch and find out!’ said Dad.

  As usual, the show was HILARIOUS!

  There was a piglet in mud wearing gumboots.

  There was a kitten falling asleep on a piano …

  and then waking herself up accidentally!

  And a video of a hamster in a tiny hammock, wearing sunglasses.

  But no FiDo and no Blockhead …

  ‘Maybe they’ll be on next week’s show,’ said Sally.

  ‘Yeah, maybe,’ I said.

  All of a sudden, FiDo and Blockhead both started barking!

  We couldn’t believe it! FiDo and Blockhead

  CHAPTER 5

  In the morning, we woke to LOUD banging on the front door.

  ‘Weir, could you please get it?’ said Mum. ‘My hair looks funny again.’

  The banging on the front door kept going.

  I climbed out of bed and wandered to the door.

  I couldn’t believe what I found there!

  ‘What’s going on?’ I asked Henry.

  ‘The video!’ he said.

  ‘The video?’

  ‘The video of FiDo and Blockhead on Funniest Pets!’ said Henry. ‘The TV show! Everyone saw it! You’re famous!’

  ‘Uh, I don’t know,’ I said. ‘I just woke up—’

  ‘There they are!’ everyone shouted.

  Suddenly, FiDo poked his head out of the door and Blockhead landed on my shoulder.

  The crowd went nuts, calling to them and rushing towards us to get a better look.

  There was a loud

  beside me as Blockhead panicked.

  ‘Please stop,’ I called out. ‘Blockhead doesn’t like flashing lights!’

  But it was too late…

  He’d flown away into the sky, far far away from the flashing cameras … and

  far

  far

  far

  from home!

  CHAPTER 6

  We searched all day for Blockhead, but couldn’t find him anywhere!

  Henry and Mo joined in.

  Bella and Tiny, too.

  We looked in all of his favourite places.

  We checked the creek where we sometimes take him for a bird bath.

  We checked the bird shop where we buy his birdseed.

  We even checked the TV shop where Blockhead and FiDo sometimes like to watch TV.

  Sally and Henry helped me put up some

  missing posters.

  I was really worried about Blockhead. I could tell FiDo was, too. He kept wuff-wuffing, calling out to his friend.

  ‘It’ll be okay,’ said Bella. ‘You’ll find him.’

  ‘I hope so,’ I replied.

  ‘Woof!’ said Tiny.

  Then he gave me and FiDo

  We were all making our way back home when Dad got a phone call.

  I got a little bit excited. Maybe someone had found Blockhead!

  ‘It was the Fire Crew,’ said Dad. ‘Sounds like there might be a dog stuck in the old shed at school. They’ve asked me if I can go and check it out.’

  ‘Hey, Weir,’ said Dad, ‘why don’t you and FiDo come with me?’

  ‘Come on,’ said Dad, ‘we’ll keep a lookout for Blockhead on the way.’

  It was exciting being on a real-life firefighting job with Dad … except that

  there was no fire …

  and Blockhead was still missing…

  and I was at school …

  on the WEEKEND!

  A few people were standing around, waiting for us near the school gate.

  ‘The barking was coming from over there,’ one lady said, pointing to the shed.

  ‘Who knows how a dog got in there,’ said another guy, ‘but I’m sure he would like to get back out!’

  ‘Absolutely,’ said Dad. ‘Come on,

  Weir and FiDo. Let’s go.’

  CHAPTER 7

  Dad unbolted the shed and we took a look inside.

  We found a few daddy long legs …

  and even one

  daddy short legs!

  But there was no sign of a dog!

  We were thinking he must have found a way out, when we heard barking!

  We looked inside again … but there was

  definitely no dog in there!

  Just the spiders!

  We’d just about run out of ideas, when we realised FiDo had wandered off.

  We found him wriggling behind the back of the shed.

  ‘FiDo, come back, boy,’ called Dad.

  But FiDo wriggled in further.

  ‘FiDo,’ I called.

  But he’d already disappeared behind the shed.
r />   ‘What is it, FiDo?’ I called out. ‘What have you found back there?’

  Dad tried to follow him …

  He tried …

  and tried …

  … and tried!

  But no amount of wriggling was going to squeeze him through!

  I suddenly realised that I could fit through!